The Power of Sonnets Will Let us Wear Bonnets
by Elendae Dudruag
Summary: My English teacher gave us an assignment to write some sonnets about something, and I asked, "Anything?" and Mr. Polacek said, "Yes, anything, so long as you do a good job." So that gave me an idea...


Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed, which is very evident, else I wouldn't be a fourteen year old girl who writes pointless fanfiction, and a famous millionaire who probably spends a lot of time choosing which new Lord of the Rings action figures to buy (no offense intended, just joking)

Author's Note: There are probably the dumbest sonnets ever written! Please review, so long as there are no swears.

Belthazor:

I'm a demon called Belthazor,

My human form is Cole,

I'm not to be mixed up with Balthazar,

A restaurant that gives people spaghetti in bowls.

I wonder how many times I've been vanquished,

Blown up, orbed, frozen,

Or banished!

(I wish Paige had never been chosen!)

I'm really in a fix

Because I need Prue, Piper, and Paige dead,

But if Phoebe finds out _I'M _a demon in the mix

She'll put an underworld price on my head!

Oh what I would do to repent with Nuns

For trying to kill the Charmed ones!

Paige:

I am only a half-whitelighter,

And I can morph into people and orb,

I never met a darklighter,

And my job is making me bored.

I like to read Harry Potter,

Because it makes wizards sound loads less evil,

I don't like magic hunters and spotters,

And I have reason to believe Cole is the devil!

I accidentally switched bodies with my sister,

And my other sister switched bodies with a water master,

Then I turned into a vampire and got sucked up by a twister,

And the shocker demon keeps breaking the wall's plaster.

I was an evil enchantress in a past life,

And I think Piper is Leo's wife.

Prue:

I am very telekinetic,

Even Andy and Darryl know so,

The person who killed mom is hydrokinetic,

And I vanquished her before Sam Matthews could shout, "NO!"

The deadly sin I got was pride,

And I fell in a bottomless pit,

So Leo orbed me out right before the demon's eyes,

And after I challenged Phoebe to the card game spit.

I'm very sorry I died before

I could vanquish the lazarus demon,

I enjoy to time-travel to when I was four,

And Phoebe just had a premonition of Piper's plane leaving.

Some guy killed me named Shax,

And I then took a ghost train to Halifax.

Leo:

I was made a whitelighter around nineteen-forty-two,

And then I healed Piper from some kind of virus,

And then THEY clipped my wings, and there was nothing I could do,

Just for commiting a random act of kindness!

Wyatt is a murderer,

And Chris doesn't like to talk to me,

Now I see I have such rude sons!

(No wonder Piper divorced me!)

When I got promoted

By some whitelighter from the future,

The Titans got demoted,

And the Charmed ones put through torture.

Once I had to be some dorky handyman

'Cause THEY thought Piper can't know who I really am!

Piper:

I think a demon's out to get me,

So I'll freeze it,

Then say a spell with Paige and Phoebe,

And when it turns to dust I'll just leave it.

I secretly wish I had married Dan,

And Prue had married Leo,

But then Leo vanquished a Grimlock and

I thought Prue shouldn't be with he-oh!

I wish Prue had never multiplied herself

And I hadn't been obsessed with being clean

I _told _Paige not to go after a demon by herself,

But we all had to be turned into wax dolls that gleam!

Then I got affected with gluttony!

Why does all this bad stuff happen to _me_?

Phoebe:

Yes, I decided to vanquish the competition,

But hey, that guy _did _look better as a turkey!

Then I was a mermaid with such surreptition

That no one could see me, even though the waters weren't murky!

I killed the guy I married,

Because he was really the source,

And I think if any longer I tarried

I would have been eaten in dinner's second course.

Some guy from Cairo who really came from New York

Stole an urn, and got chased by a cobra,

Then I explained to my sisters he wasn't some evil dork,

Isn't that the perfect soap opera?

And...can you believe it? Some idiot nearly drained

My scholarly, hard-working brain!


End file.
